A 48-year-old man had told his story to Reddit, where he changed his mind to pay for his daughter’s wedding, as she rejected him to walk her down the aisle.
“I’m a 48-year-old man and my 19-year-old daughter has always been an independent thinker. I raised her to be independent and think for herself, which I’ve always appreciated. However, we recently hit a bit of a snag.” The father had started to tell his story.
“She got engaged and decided that she doesn’t want me to walk her down the aisle at her wedding. She argues that her mother and I don’t “own” her, therefore we have no right to “give her away”. I feel hurt by this because we never treated her like an object or piece of property, rather we’ve tried our best to provide her with a wonderful life.” He said about the problem.
“Her stance seems extreme to me and despite discussions, she’s refusing to budge on the issue. I respect her choices, but I feel she’s disregarding our feelings completely. As a response, I told her that if she feels that way, then I won’t be paying for her wedding.” He then continued that if she will insist on her opinion, he will not pay for the wedding.
“I don’t want to come across as controlling or manipulative. It’s true, I don’t “own” her, I also don’t owe her a fully-funded wedding. She can pay for her own wedding if she’s insistent on this stance. I’m feeling quite conflicted about this.” He then concluded his post, and later on added some more information to his post.
“Edit: So, this isn’t about making the wedding about me. Walking her down the aisle (while all eyes are on her anyway) and then sitting down is hardly making the wedding about me. It’s about her attitude. She’s had every opportunity in life so far, and to exclude us from this day is a spit in the face. It’s a rejection of everything we’ve done for her, sacrificed for her, given her. It’s selfish.” He had explained his intentions and continued,
“”90% of wedding traditions and symbolism had roots in things we don’t acknowledge today. Should we stop all of them? The rings, the flowers, the dress, the wedding party, the cake, the flower girls… a father walking his daughter down the aisle has been about respect, pride, love and honoring the father/daughter relationship for far longer than it was about ownership.”” He added.
“For all the YTA people out there, I’ve decided to give my daughter a gift in the same amount as her older sister’s wedding cost. She can use this for whatever she wants. For the NTA people out there, thanks, most of you get it. My daughter has also agreed to figure out a way to include us in a way that doesn’t involve “giving her away.” We are still in the early wedding planning stages, and she is almost 20. So she will likely be 21 before the actual marriage. Thanks for the concern, I guess. I approve of the groom-to-be if that matters to anyone.” He had added and concluded as,
“We disagree, but that doesn’t mean it’s a relationship-ending event. My daughter is laughing hilariously at all of you that are saying she will disinvite us from the wedding or cut us off from grandkids. I just feel sorry for you all. THAT is petty and manipulative, and regardless of what you all say, I’ve raised her better than that.”