You are not crazy or overly sensitive for feeling shaken; that moment pierced something deep because it confirmed what you’ve been sensing for a while: a widening emotional gap. His reaction wasn’t just about your classmate. It was about you feeling alone in your grief, your fear, your need for basic human empathy from the person who promised to stand beside you.

Start by honoring your feelings instead of minimizing them. Then, choose a calm, neutral time and tell him what you experienced—not to accuse, but to reveal: “When I told you about the accident and you brushed it off, I felt abandoned and scared about how distant we’ve become.” Focus on how his behavior impacts you. Ask open questions: Is he burned out? Depressed? Angry? Numb? Suggest couples counseling, making it clear this is about protecting your marriage, not blaming him. If he refuses to engage at all, you’ll have painful clarity—but if there’s still love under the ice, this is how you begin to reach it.