My Husband…

My husband and I were dressed and ready to go out for a lovely evening of dinner and theater. Having been burgled in the past, we turned on a ‘night light’ and then put the cat in the backyard.
When our Uber arrived, we walked out our front door and our rather tubby cat scooted between our legs inside, then ran up the stairs. Because our cat likes to chase our parakeet we didn’t want to leave them
unchaperoned so my husband ran inside to retrieve her and put her in the back yard again.

Because I didn’t want the Uber driver to know our house was going to be empty all evening, I explained to him that my husband would be out momentarily as he was just bidding goodnight to my mother.
A few minutes later he got into the Uber all hot and bothered, and said (to my growing horror and amusement) as the car pulled away, “Sorry it took so long but the stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her ass with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off so I grabbed her by the neck and wrapped her in a blanket so she wouldn’t scratch me like she did last time.
But it worked! I hauled her fat ass down the stairs and threw her into the backyard….she had better not shit in the vegetable garden again.”
The silence in the Uber was deafening…..

Related Posts

QUEEN CAMILLA SAD NEWS!

Following the King’s cancer diagnosis, friends express concerns for Queen Camilla’s well-being. Dame Julia Cleverdon, a close confidante, highlights Camilla’s pivotal role, stating, “The real heroine… is…

SEVEN (7) THINGS THAT CLOG YOUR PORES AND CAUSE ACNE

We’ve all got these tiny openings in our skin for releasing sweat and oil, We’ve all got these tiny openings in our skin for releasing sweat and…

SEVEN (7) THINGS THAT CLOG YOUR PORES AND CAUSE ACNE

We’ve all got these tiny openings in our skin for releasing sweat and oil, We’ve all got these tiny openings in our skin for releasing sweat and…

Father Outraged Over Compulsory S Education Lessons, Pulls Daughter from School

Michael Doherty, a concerned father from Suffolk, took a striking step by expelling his girl from her essential school due to what he considered profoundly unseemly s….

Mom Captures Hidden Talent of Babysitter with Heartwarming Video

Working parents often rely on babysitters to ensure their children are well taken care of when they can’t be at home. It’s crucial to find someone responsible…

Johnny Depp’s legal battle and the shocking image that changed everything

It all started when Heard accused Depp of being abusive during their relationship. But as the details of their tumultuous affair unravel, it’s becoming clear that things…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *