My sister lost her husband and son in an accident two days before Christmas. She asked me to cancel the big party I was hosting, but I refused, saying, “You can’t ruin the holidays for everyone else.”

During the party, we heard a crash from my baby’s room. I found my sister packing away my toddler’s clothes and toys—items she’d lent me that had belonged to her late son. In tears, she said I wasn’t worthy of them and called me a bad sister.

Guests overheard the argument, and I’m sure they left thinking I was heartless. Was I wrong to prioritize the party over her grief? Becca

I struggled with that question for days after the incident. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had let my sister down in her time of need. But as time passed, I began to see things from a different perspective.

My sister had always been the strong one in our family. She was the one who held us together through difficult times, the one who never showed weakness. And now, in the face of such a devastating loss, she was the one who needed us to be strong for her.

By refusing to cancel the party, I was not trying to ignore or minimize my sister’s grief. I was trying to provide her with a sense of normalcy, a distraction from the overwhelming pain she was feeling. I wanted her to know that life could go on, that there could still be moments of joy and celebration even in the darkest of times.

In hindsight, I realize that my approach may not have been the most sensitive or compassionate. I should have taken the time to sit down with my sister, to talk to her about her feelings and her needs. I should have listened to her instead of dismissing her pain.

But in the end, I stand by my decision to host the party. It wasn’t about ignoring my sister’s grief or prioritizing my own desires. It was about trying to bring a little light into the darkness, to show my sister that there was still love and joy in the world, even when it felt like there was nothing left.

I have since apologized to my sister for my actions, and I have promised to be there for her in whatever way she needs. I know I can’t take away her pain or bring back her loved ones, but I can be a source of support and comfort as she navigates this difficult journey.

So while I may have made mistakes in how I handled the situation, I refuse to let guilt and regret overshadow the true spirit of the holidays: love, compassion, and the strength to carry on in the face of tragedy.