Eric made a stunning first impression. He arrived with a bouquet of roses and a personalized keychain, held doors open, paid for dinner, and was attentive and funny. We bonded over crime podcasts and documentaries, and he ended the evening with a warm hug. I left thinking maybe I’d finally found someone genuine.

But the next morning shattered that illusion. Eric sent me a PDF file — a “date night invoice”. It listed everything he did the night before and assigned each act a “required payment”: a hug for the flowers, a selfie for pulling out my chair, a second date as repayment for dinner. At the bottom, it read: “Payment is due in full. No refunds.”

I forwarded the bizarre invoice to Mia, who immediately shared it with Chris. Outraged, he created a hilarious “invoice” in return, mocking Eric’s expectations and suggesting