These traits often develop from a lack of emotional nurturing during childhood.
A stable and joyful upbringing depends greatly on the presence of emotionally healthy caregivers. However, life is not always fair or simple, and some adults are unable to give the consistent love and reassurance a child needs to feel safe. When that emotional support is missing, it can shape how a person behaves as an adult, often showing up in the following ways:
- Struggles with low self-esteem
Self-worth begins forming early in life, built through encouragement and acceptance from caregivers. When a child receives little or no support—or worse, experiences emotional neglect or criticism—they never learn to see their own value. As adults, they may feel undeserving of love, happiness, or success.
- Fear of rejection or abandonment
Those who were emotionally let down as children often carry a deep fear of being rejected. They anticipate disappointment because it’s what they grew up knowing. To protect themselves, they may avoid emotional closeness or vulnerability, which makes forming healthy, trusting relationships difficult.
- Difficulty expressing emotions
From infancy, children learn how to understand and communicate their feelings by observing emotionally balanced adults. Without that guidance, they may grow up confused about their own emotions, leading to suppression, emotional numbness, or unpredictable outbursts.
- Reliance on external validation
Children who are encouraged and positively reinforced learn to recognize their own worth from within. But those who never receive such validation often grow up depending on others’ approval to feel “good enough.” Their self-esteem becomes tied to how people perceive them, rather than how they see themselves.
- Problems with trust
Trust issues are common in those who lacked emotional support as a child. The person learned early on that other people can be unreliable or cruel. They may find it hard to form close relationships because they are overly guarded and suspicious of others’ motives. Distance is a way to protect themselves from harm.
- They may be a perfectionist.
Perfectionism often arises as an unhealthy way to cope with deep feelings of inadequacy. A person may develop an unconscious drive to be flawless, believing that by achieving perfection, they can finally gain the love and approval that were missing in childhood. Unfortunately, perfection is impossible to attain, leaving them trapped in a constant cycle of self-criticism and never feeling truly worthy.
- They may be people-pleasers.
People-pleasers prioritize others’ needs over their own to get approval or avoid conflict. Such people often suppress their own desires and boundaries to make others happy. When doing so, they are repeating behaviors they learned as a child whereby they longed to be told nice things by their caregivers or were afraid of the consequences if they did not obey.
- They may experience anxiety.
Chronic anxiety or hypervigilance can be caused by a lack of emotional safety and stability as a child. A person who is constantly on edge, overly sensitive, or overthinking fuels their own anxiety because they are trying to perceive emotional threats before they present themselves.
- They may be afraid of conflict.
Adults who grew up without emotional support often steer clear of confrontation out of fear of rejection. As a result, they may struggle to voice their true feelings or needs within relationships. Rather than risk conflict, they choose silence—enduring unmet needs and emotional discomfort for the sake of keeping the peace.
- They may have attachment issues.
Emotional neglect can cause anxious or avoidant attachment styles. They may cling to others out of fear of abandonment or maintain emotional distance in order to protect themselves from being hurt. These maladaptive coping skills make it very difficult for the person to form or maintain healthy relationships.
- They may have difficulty setting boundaries.
A kid who lacks support may struggle to assert their needs and set healthy boundaries as an adult. They will often feel guilty or uncomfortable doing so, as if they are an inconvenience in the relationship. And since they avoid conflict, they don’t defend their boundaries even if they manage to voice them.
- They may have a tendency toward codependency.
In certain situations, they may develop codependent relationships. Growing up without emotional support can lead an adult to overcompensate by tying their sense of self-worth to how much others depend on them. They may become the emotional support system—or crutch—for someone else, often sacrificing their own needs and boundaries in
