Burying a baby is something no parent should ever have to face, and yet that’s exactly what I had to do when my son was just three months old.

In October 2020, my then-partner, Gary, put Logan to sleep in a V-shaped pregnancy pillow next to our bed. He was fed, he was clean and he should have been safe.

Tragically though, he never woke up. And in August last year, the coroner at the inquest into his death ruled that co-sleeping in bed beside his father was a contributing factor to his death.

I will regret that night for as long as I live. When we found out I was expecting, Gary and I were so excited. We’d only been trying for a couple of months and couldn’t wait to extend our family.

At 20 weeks pregnant we had a gender reveal party where we popped a black balloon over our heads and got covered in blue confetti. I loved shopping for all my baby bits – choosing a pram and high chair, buying blue baby clothes and blankets, everything was blue!

Then, on 11 July 2020, our little Logan was born at 38 weeks. I had to have an emergency C-section because scans had revealed I was carrying extra fluid and there was a knot in his umbilical cord.

Thankfully he was healthy and was the most gorgeous baby. I was instantly in love with his tiny feet, bright blue eyes and wee button nose.

Back home, we quickly settled into a routine: a bath, Johnson’s night-time cream with lavender to help him sleep soundly, a bottle, then into his cot.

But on that fateful night in October, everything changed. Logan had been particularly fussy, so Gary suggested we try co-sleeping to see if it would help him settle. I was hesitant, but tired and desperate for some sleep, so I agreed.

I woke up the next morning to a parent’s worst nightmare. Logan was unresponsive, and despite our frantic efforts to revive him, he was gone. The days that followed were a blur of grief, guilt, and disbelief. How could something as innocent as co-sleeping have led to such a tragic outcome?

The coroner’s ruling only added to my pain. I blamed myself for not standing my ground and insisting on a safer sleep environment for Logan. I blamed Gary for suggesting co-sleeping in the first place. I blamed everyone and everything, except for the cruel twist of fate that had taken my precious baby boy from me.

As I navigated the grief and guilt that consumed me, I made a vow to never let another parent go through what I had experienced. I became an advocate for safe sleep practices, sharing Logan’s story and spreading awareness about the dangers of co-sleeping.

No parent should ever have to bury their child, especially under such preventable circumstances. Logan’s memory lives on in the work I do to educate others and prevent future tragedies. And while the pain of his loss will never fully heal, I find solace in knowing that his legacy is one of saving lives.

So please, if you take anything away from my story, let it be this: always prioritize safe sleep practices for your baby. Never underestimate the risks of co-sleeping, and never assume that it couldn’t happen to you. Your child’s safety is worth more than a few hours of sleep, I promise you that.